Saturday, February 19, 2005

There's something fishy about the Patriot Act

Don't get me wrong. I was the first person to stand up and cheer when President Bush introduced America to the Patriot Act. After all, I expected our government to round up a bunch of swarthy looking people — and I don't mean Mexicans — and keep them safely locked up in cages ensuring America remains secure.

Trouble is the government seems to be having problems recognizing the enemy. Last week, the Secret Service swarmed into the intern's lounge at the White House and grabbed me up like I was Mrs. Osama Arafat, or something. They claim my little diary is anti-American. That's unbelievable. I love President Bush and Vice-president Cheney and all the others who have made America one of the most respected countries in North America.

The Secret Service seem to think I'm giving away state secrets by pointing out how the Republican Party had good hard evidence that John Kerry and Osama Bin Laden were in cahoots, having dinner at a Denny's. (See "I'm working for Karl Rove") I saw the picture in Karl Rove's office. I know the truth. I just thought average American's like you ought to now the truth too. It seems that by sharing the truth, I may be guilty of something under the Patriot Act. It turns out that under the Patriot Act, they don't have to tell me what I'm guilty of.

Because of this diary, the FBI started searching into my personal life. Fortunately I don't have one. Being a good Christian Republican and all, I've never had pre-marital sex or done anything else I'm ashamced of. The FBI checked to see what books I've checked out of the library in Waco. Every single book has God in the title.

What vexed me is the FBI questioned my sweet but terminally retarded brother, Rick Bob. Because of the state of his mind, he asked some dumb questions of the FBI such as: Don't Americans have specific rights under the Constitution? Doesn't the Patriot Act go against the Bill of Rights? Needless to say, the FBI felt justified in arresting Rick Bob for obstruction of justice. Daddy would like to bail him out of jail but the authorities won't say where he's being held.

I certainly hope I don't lose my job as a White House intern because of this Patriot Act misunderstanding.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are very ignorant. I guess good diverse democrats, like Dr. Dean, should have a diverse group of staff members when they are heads of their state right. Well I'm kinda curious why he talks the talk but does not walk the walk since he did not have one African-American on his staff. Maybe Karl Rove would not allow it right. I know...I know...maybe the Patriot Act stopped him from allowing African Americans on his staff right? MMMmmm...maybe we should ask all the Senators and Reps, both Republican AND Democrats who voted for the Patriot Act.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

um, have you ever been to Vermont?

I was in Burlington last month and didn't see one black person. That's not to say there aren't any, but Vermont is not the most diverse state. And I thought he did have one black staff member. His press secretary, I think.

5:53 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

<%radio.macros.staticSiteStatsImage ()%>