Tuesday, February 08, 2005

How The Bible can fix the deficit

I was just reading how the United States may have a budget problem considering the deficit is over $400 billion. I think I have a solution, which I've been trying to get to President Bush. So far, I've had trouble being taken seriously since I'm only an intern. But maybe I can get some buzz going from this diary.

It seems to me there's a lot of waste in our education system. For instance, we spend a lot of money to teach biology, anthropology and paleontology. However, we in the Bush administration recognize that the creation of the universe as described in the Holy Bible is less than 12,000 years old. So why waste time and money studying about things that some "professors" say took place millions of years ago, but couldn't have.

Dinosaurs? There's no real proof of them ever existing except some old bones. If they really existed, they'd have been mentioned in the Bible and would have sailed with Noah. Carbon dating? That's just two pieces of coal going out to dinner, as Daddy likes to say. And the Ice Age was probably a thousand years ago, not a hundred thousand. I know I would have been cold without central heating.

And lets dump that stupid Hubble Telescope that claims to bring in images that are millions of lightyears away. It just can't be. You can't have a million lightyears in a God-given universe that's only 12,000 years old.

Another savings would be medical school. Don't bother teaching doctors how to do abortions. If they don't know how to do them, they'll finally stop. That's just good common sense.

Rick Bob, my sadly retarded brother, likes to ask real dumb questions. He asks, if God created the universe, who created God? God did, of course. There's no reason He couldn't create Himself. And if He chooses, God will free America of its deficit.

2 Comments:

Blogger Michael said...

Nancy, you can have a million light years in a universe that is only 12 thousand years old - if God created it to be that way just when he created the universe.

Just as you can have those dinosaur bones in the earth that seem to be zillions of years old because God created them that way when he created the earth -- 5762 years ago.

It's like creating new furniture to look like an antique. Really simple.

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have an idea on how to fix the deficit.
Collect all the Bibles in the good ole US of A. This act of sacrifice is required for every God fearing citizen. Then sell them back to their owners, page by page. I reckon a dollar a page is a good price. The funds raised can be used to pay for the deficit, any unsold pages must be burnt to increase the value of the remainder. I reckon He would approve of this glorious idea, His work being so central to the fiscal solution. My place in heaven is assured.

3:46 AM  

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