Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Do we really want Canada in North America?

Those Godless Canadians in Canada have gone and done it. They are actually making it law to let people of the same sex get married. Yuck! What next? Polygamy? There's no place in the Bible for things like polygamy. And certainly, men cavorting with men is not what Jesus would do.

Fortunately, President Bush made it a leading campaign plank to get a constitutional amendment to prevent gay people from getting married in America. Funny how he doesn't seem to mention it anymore, now that's he's re-elected.

President Bush also promised to end abortion in America. Although now that I come to think about it, he doesn't seem to mention it much, now that he's re-elected.

I guess bringing freedom and liberty to the rest of the world sidetracks him from pushing for better American rights to clamp down on our own Godless gays and whoring women who can't wait to get pregnant, just so they can have an abortion.

Did you know that in Canada, people do not have the constitutional right to bear arms? Can you imagine driving a pickup truck without a shotgun in the rack? Here's some more stuff I learned about our "neighbor" to the north. They look and talk a lot like us so you can't always tell when they're trying in infiltrate. For instance, Peter Jennings, the news anchor, is a Canadian. Can't trust a word he says. Alex Trebek is Canadian. I'm pretty sure Jeopardy is fixed. Who won the two and a half million dollars? Ken JENNINGS. Coincidence? I don't think so. Those Canadians are a wily bunch. Sure Ken Jennings claims he's a Mormon. We're supposed to think he's a good Christian in favor of polygamy. In fact, he's probably a Canadian and a supporter of gay marriage.

Rick Bob, my clinically retarded brother, was wondering how gay marriage was going to ruin marriage for people who respect family values? It's pretty simple. Take someone like Brittany Spears who's a role model for a lot of young people. Suppose she were a lesbian. Can you imagine what two gay marriages in a year would do to the fabric of respect for the institution of American marriage? Enough said.


After I posted the above, a librarian from "Ottawa" (sounds like a made-up name to me) wrote to say there are even more Canadians in America than I thought. I just hope the FBI is keeping an eye on them and making sure they aren't taking any flying lessons. I have no idea why so many Canadians are coming across the border. We must have enough lettuce pickers by now.


Blogger VW said...

Actually, we're a bit more pervasive than you might think?

Captain Kirk, the quintessential American space hero of Riverside, Iowa? Actually, he's William Shatner of Montreal.

Ditto his engineering officer, Scotty. James Doohan of New Westminster, B.C.

You know who else we've snuck in? Raymond Burr. That's right, Perry Mason and Ironside belong to us.

Jim Carrey. James Cameron. John Kenneth Galbraith. And John Roberts and Morley Safer of CBS -- we know they didn't fall for no fake documents, eh?

Face it, Intern. We are Canadian. You will be assimilated.

>:) >:) >:)

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Dan said...

"Did you know that in Canada, people do not have the constitutional right to bear arms? Can you imagine driving a pickup truck without a shotgun in the rack?"
Is this a joke? It sounds like you're trying to be sarcastic.

Dan- A Canadian

5:37 PM  

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