"Ich bin ein Baghdadi"

I guess you all know by now that the Iraqi election went exceedingly well. There were a lot of high-fives this morning here at the White House. Just forty or so Iraqis died on election day. Heck, more folks than that die on the opening day of hunting season in Waco. And can you imagine the honor of dying for democracy on election day? As far as I'm concerned, those dead folks are all Iraqi Nathan Hales. I'll bet they all regret they've only got one life each to give to their country.

Word around here is that President Bush may actually travel to Iraq to deliver a speech to the new government. One of the fellows I work for, Jimmy, is the President's speechwriter — one of them, that is. He's been asked to come up with something rousing, something memorable. So far, all he's got is "Ich bin ein Baghdadi". I guess the President wants to say something in Arab. That's real considerate.

The other day, I wrote that there was no likelihood of the Republican administration running a deficit. Rick Bob, my angelic but discouragingly retarded brother happened to notice my comment and emailed me to point out that President Bush is running the biggest deficit in history. Rick Bob means well but his brain just doesn't function like yours or mine. I asked around the White House about this supposed big deficit. Turns out, it's nothing but bookkeeping stuff. Any time he wants, George Bush can plug in a few numbers and that supposed deficit will disappear.