Thursday, February 03, 2005

President Bush on Groundhog Day

Yesterday was Groundhog Day but it was President George Walker Bush who came out and saw his shadow (metaphorically speaking). I was truly impressed with his State of the Union, which managed to be both enervating and vapid for the entire nation. (I think I got those words right.)

Since I don't earn any money and therefore do not pay any taxes, all the Social Security stuff didn't interest me much. However, I do hope that those newly democratized Iraqies get personal accounts with their Social Security plans. Well, maybe they ought to get electricity first.

I'm glad that the President emphasized a constitutional amendment for maintaining the traditional definition of marriage as being a union of a man and a woman or in the case of Arkansas, a man and his sow. (Just kidding) What worries me is those gay people can be awfully clever. What if one of those same-sex couples goes to get married and one claims to be a man and the other claims to be a woman. I think we're going to need a constitutional amendment defining who's a man and who's a woman.

I'm glad the war on terrorism is going so well. Who knew besides President Bush before we invaded Iraq that half of that nation was made up of terrorists? If we hadn't invaded Iraq, those Iraqi terrorists could have come over to America pretending to be visiting DisneyWorld and started blowing up rides and innocent American families. (Although we gave those Iraqis democracy, I sure hope we're not going to give them visas.)

You know who else I was proud of this week? Vice-President Dick Cheney. He went to Auschwitz, which is somewhere in Europe. I read about Auschwitz. It was a dangerous place. Lots of folks died there. Yet, without regard for his own personal safety, Dick Cheney went there too. Bravo! I'll bet that after every one of his five deferments during the Viet Nam War, Mr. Cheney's heart was broken from not being on the front lines. Maybe that's why he's got heart troubles now.

Rick Bob and I got to talking about the Iraqi election the other day. You might remember that I love my little brother despite the fact that God did smite him with retardation. I was mentioning the fact that it was wonderful watching those Iraqi folks leave the voting places and go dance in the street. Rick Bob, the poor simpleton, said that he remembered when the same folks danced in the street after the Twin Towers came down. I explained that Iraqis just naturally like to dance.


Blogger wandering fool said...

brilliant... i wish i had known about this site earlier when it was current. at first i was shocked, i thoguth it was real.

only thing is, when u read one article it seems legit but when u read more than one u can see the joke.

great set-up though. it would have been genius if u could've figured out a way to keep the reader not knowing if u were serious or not.

oh well

4:24 AM  

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