Thursday, February 24, 2005

Puttin' Putin in his place...and it ain't the Ritz

When Russia's Vladimir Putin came to Crawford, President Bush thought he was dealing with a soul-mate. President Bush looked into Putin's eyes and thought he saw a fellow democrat. Turns out, Putin was wearing fascist-covering contacts.

Since the meeting at the Crawford Ranch, here's what that Putin fellow has been up to...

1. He has interfered in the election of another sovereign country.
2. He has sent troops into a Muslim country.
3. He's selling arms to Iran not having learned from America's experience of selling arms to Iraq.
4. He's personally involved in the oil business, which means conflict of interest.
5. He's trying to control the media.
6. He's using secret police tactics without even a Patriot Act on the books.

President Bush is going to make sure Putin doesn't get too uppity. It's time that Putin understood what freedom means. It means doing things the American way.

Spreading democracy one kiss at a time.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear NancyJo,

Loved the story. But you could have done us a favour by mentioning the summit took place in my hometown, Bratislava, Slovakia. Once a Roman garrison town and later the seat of the Austro-Hungarian Empire until Empress Catherine moved to the newly built Shoenbrunn Palace in Vienna 120 years ago, we are a thriving metropolis of over half a million people. We make all those Porsche Cayennes and VW Touaregs you so dearly love in the Big Land America.

Anyway, the name Bratislava is a bit unwieldly even for us, so many have taken to calling it just B Town. But since the historic visit of the first American President, we have all agreed that this has finally put us on the map and we are now calling it B+ Town. Some people are saying that President Bush only came because it costs less than 20% as much here as in Germany to hire supporters and crowds, but I think that's selling Slovakia short. We are among the Coalition of the Willing. Your government gave us many millions of dollars and support for joining NATO in exchange, and thanks to the goodheartedness and steadfast loyalty of the Slovak People and our undying solidarity with the US, an incredible 150 soldiers voluteered at trebled (you say tripled) pay to go liberate the Iraqi people side by side with their American brothers. We call them Zoldieri, mercenaries, to honour their new found wealth and higher social standing.

We are all so smitten with the Bush family. They really are the new Mansons. We hope to see the President's brother when he has his turn at bat. Only do you think you could tell him something? In our language and those of our Slavic neighbours, Jeb Bush in the colloquial slang translates EXPLETIVE Bush, grammatically correct, I assure you. I have seen many suporters in other countries visited by your President have the same message written in English, so it may just be a cultural difference.

Perhaps he would do better to be a little more formal until we get to know one another better.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me again. For those of you who are history buffs and sticklers for facts, a small correction to my original post: it was the Empress Terezia and it was 220 years ago. I really don't see that this makes much difference at all, personally. Numbers, names...they change all the time. I think the Federal Reserve calls it Hedonics. Freddie Mac and Fanny Mae call it the "Fog of Accounting." Or was it "Fog of Accountability?" Foreign languages. Who knows? Who am I to argue anyway? It's the American Way we must all learn now. Time for some grits!

4:13 PM  

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