Tuesday, February 22, 2005

President Bush has dinner with the leader of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys

Has there ever been anyone as magnanimous in victory as President George W. Bush?

When George Bush in his third year in office realized that Iraq under Saddam Hussein was not a democratic country, he said to the World, "We have to go into Iraq and liberate all those poor people who do not have the opportunity to vote."

But the part of the world that included France, Germany and Canada told America they didn't care about democracy for Muslims. Only America cared with a little help from the Coalition of the Willing.

Only America wanted to see Muslims with inky fingers. (Muslims in America with inky fingers generally indicates they're suspected terrorists who've been fingerprinted.) It didn't matter the cost in lives or money. President Bush took it upon himself to ensure the Iraqi people got a taste of freedom and an opportunity to vote (although they may not have known exactly who they might be voting for since there were no names on the Iraqi ballot).

Now that America has been proven right once again, George Bush has gone over to Europe to offer those cheese-eating, never-seen-a-bar-of-soap surrender monkeys an opportunity to get on board the Victory Express. Last night, President Bush offered his hand to Jack Chirack, king of France and told him that now that all the hard slogging is over, now that Iraq is a democracy, now that people are dancing in the streets of Baghdad, France can be our friend again. America is ready to eat French fries once more.

You'd think with all the generosity America is showing, the French might be a bit grateful; that they might take it upon themselves to share a little of the burden of policing the world's newest democracy to make sure the Iraqis don't decide to hook up with the Iranians. But those Frenchies simply don't understand gratitude.

They don't remember us saving their butts in two World Wars. They don't remember us taking Vietnam off their hands. They don't remember Benjamin Franklin bringing democracy to France when the country was revolting. How President Bush can sit there and shake their hands and smile at them...well that's what makes him the great statesman that he is. I couldn't do it even though Jesus said to turn the other cheek.

As you might remember, Rick Bob, my sadly retarded brother has been detained under the Patriot Act for dumbly bringing up the American Constitution while being questioned by the FBI. Although we still don't know where he's being held, we think he might be having a lot of fun.
Abu Ghraib
Another picture appeared on the Web showing Rick Bob in the middle of a cheerleading pyramid.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


See? This is why the whole world loves America. No matter how badly we feel about ourselves, you big-hearted Americans always give us a complex of superiority. That's what true friendship is all about.

4:39 PM  

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