President Bush got a little upset

If you've been reading the liberal newspapers, you've probably come across some story that goes: "Facing the darkest days of his presidency, President Bush is frustrated, sometimes angry and even bitter." Then there's something to the effect that he has been yelling at junior staffers.

Here are the actual facts behind that slanderous story.

The other day, I was on my usual route at the White House delivering confidential memos when Barbie, the President's personal secretary called me over. The previous evening, she'd been eating at a Mexican restaurant and I reckon I don't need to paint a picture. Anyway, she wanted me to answer the phone for a few minutes while she answered the call of nature in the restroom.

As soon as I sat down at Barbie's desk, the phone rang. I answered it and it turned out to be the President's mother, Mrs. Barbara Bush.

"Can I speak to my son?" Mrs. Bush asked and I said certainly.

I hit the intercom and said, "Mr. President, Mrs. Bush is on the line." And then President Bush took the call.

A few minutes later, a real angry looking President Bush charged out of the Oval Office and came up to the desk.

"Who are you?" he asked.

I've got to admit I was feeling kind of scared right then. "I'm Nancy Jo. I'm an intern."

"You the one I like to call Monica?" he asked.

"Yes Sir," I replied meekly not about to say how much I hated that nickname.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me my mother was on the line?" the President asked.

"Sir, I told you it was Mrs. Bush."

"I thought you meant Laura. I don't mind speaking to Laura. She's a tolerable Mrs. Bush. My mother on the other hand, I can't stand talking to that woman. She don't worship me like Condi and Harriet and Karen do. She still talks to me like I'm her little boy instead of the most powerful human being in the universe."

"I'm sorry, Sir," I said. "I didn't know you don't take calls from your mother."

President Bush pointed to a framed sign sitting on the desk by the phone — a sign I hadn't noticed until then.

"What's that say?" he asked.

I read it out loud, "Under no circumstances say that the President of the United States is in when Mrs. Barbara Bush calls."

"Ain't that plain enough?" the President asked.

"Sorry Sir, it won't happen again."

"I swear," the President said, "that if we were paying you, I'd have you fired. But since you're working for nothing, I guess we're getting what we pay for."

Then the President turned on his heels and returned to the Oval Office. Before closing the door, he said, "I don't want to be disturbed. It's my after-lunch nap time."

I admit that I made a mistake and President Bush had every right to be mad at me. But that's the only time I've ever seen the President less than totally chipper. And why shouldn't he be happy? He's got another three years to do God's work on earth and a great bunch of people advising him.