Thursday, October 06, 2005

Holy smoke...there's a spy in Vice President Cheney's office

As I walked past the office door of Vice President Cheney this morning, I heard him screaming at the top of his lungs: "Kill that f--king Filippino wetback a--hole. Put his (anatomical part) in a vice and squeeze his f--king (squirrel food) until blood comes out his motherf--king eyes."

I guessed the Vice President was angry but didn't know why.

This afternoon, all White House staff received a memo from Brenda, the VP's secretary explaining the VP's outburst.

To all staff:

You may notice that Leandro Aragoncillo, the U.S. marine who used to be on Vice President Cheney's staff, is no longer employed here.

It seems that Leandro, who we all remember from the staff Christmas party as the Filippino wearing the lampshade on his head, was a spy.

The White House continues to frown upon those employees who leak confidential information, Karl Rove and Scooter Libby excepted.

Leandro worked at the White House for about three years and those of us who knew him will miss his wry sense of humor and those tasty little cakes he'd bring in around Easter.

Leandro's espionage only involved matters pertaining to the Phillipines, so any damage was minimal. (President Bush thought the Phillipines were in Pennsylvania, so you'd think Leandro wouldn't be in too much trouble.) Still we can't have employees, other than Mr. Rove and Mr. Libby, divulging Top Secret material.

So let's wish Leandro well in his future pursuits that are likely to include a visit to Leavenworth.



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