Karl Rove swears to God and James Dobson that Harriet Miers is "one of us"

As you probably know, the highly respected group, Focus on the Family, is regarded as "Christian values in action." That is to say, we believe that anyone who performs abortions should be put to death.

James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, for some reason had concerns about Harriet Miers selection by President Bush to the Supreme Court. So he met with Karl Rove, the President's Turd Blossom, and Mr. Rove was able to convince Mr. Dobson that Ms. Miers is "one of us."

Since the conversation between the two of them was recorded (it's surprising how much of that still goes on), I was able to read the transcript as I delivered it to the White House archives. Here's a bit that should convince you too that Ms. Miers shares our opinions on important issues.

DOBSON:"You understand our concern, don't you? We're focused on families and you folks are appointing a single woman, practically one of the characters from Sex and the City, not that I've ever seen that degenerate Jewish-focused, New York-focused, gay-inspired program."

ROVE:"Harriet may be single in the secular sense. But she's like a nun. You know, nuns consider themselves brides of Christ. Harriet, just like Condi, consider themselves brides of Bush. Although not actually married to the President, they devote themselves to him, more so than even Laura."

DOBSON:"I don't care if she's the bride of Frankenstein, what I need to know is her position on Christian concerns."

ROVE:"Don't you worry about that. Harriet's as Christian as they come. Although she's never said so publicly, she is adamant about overturning Roe vs. Wade. She has told me that no matter what case is pending before her — antitrust or a murder appeal or anything — she's just going to keep voting against abortion until the other justices get sick of her tactics and vote with her."

DOBSON:"Can she do that?"

ROVE:"Damn...er sorry, darn straight she can. She'll be a Supreme Court judge. She can do as she pleases. And she aims to please you, Jimmy boy."

DOBSON:"So where does she stand on evolution?"

ROVE:"She's a hundred and ten percent against it. Just the other day, she was remarking on how much the world has accomplished in the last 9,000 years, since the world was created. And she's not talking about no Intelligent Designer. No sir. She wants God taught in every science class whether it's biology or physics or mathematics. Harriet believes God created numbers. Yes sir."

DOBSON:"I'm liking what I hear so far. But how do we know she won't become another Souter or O'Connor going liberal once she gets her seat."

ROVE:"I swear to God that she won't."

DOBSON:"Coming from a man of your integrity, I guess I'll have to accept what you say."