Wednesday, July 27, 2005

What's wrong with "Turd Blossom"?

I suspect the Liberal press simply can't stand it when President George W. Bush expresses himself in ways that make him the most lovable, human president of the 21st century.

Naturally, I'm no fan of the Communist comic strip, "Doonesbury". So there are a million reasons why newspapers should cancel it. However, the reference to Karl Rove as "Turd Blossom" is not one of them.

(For those of you not familiar with Turd Blossom, it's the national flower of the State of Texas, next to the yellow rose. You see, when cows relieve their digestive systems, they leave droppings. Soon flowers grow from those droppings. Hence the name.)

President Bush, when he nicknamed Mr. Rove "Turd Blossom" wasn't suggesting that the Deputy Chief of Staff grew up in dung. Mr. Rove grew up a bastard. But as good Christians, we in the White House can forgive Mr. Rove the indiscretion of his mama.

Turd Blossom suggests that even a bastard baby can grow up to be a beautiful Republican. So you can see, there's nothing wrong with the name that Liberal editors are desecrating by removing from their newspapers.

Of course, being the fun-loving, jovial president that he is, Mr. Bush has nicknames for virtually everyone at the White House and folks who support him.

Vice-President Cheney is "America's Heart Throb". President Bush always offers the Vice-President a Big Mac and fries whenever he walks into a room. Always gets a big laugh.

Mr. Rumsfeld is lovingly referred to as "General Custer".

I'm not sure why, but the President likes to call Condi Rice "Ragtime".

The President calls Robert Novak his "Retarded Secretary for Misinformation".

Rush Limbaugh is known as "Cheech and Chong". I don't get it.

He refers to Ann Coulter as "My Friend Flicka". He used to call her "Lassie".

He likes to call Bill O'Reilly "Charlie McCarthy". Before my time, I think.

The Bush Twins are known as "Roe vs. Wade".

Jeb Bush is known around the White House as "Ballot Box".

The President likes to call his wife Laura, "You're no Barbara".

He calls his Daddy "One-Term Loser".

When he sees me wandering around the White House, President Bush sometimes jokingly calls out, "Hey Monica", but I don't think that's very funny.


Blogger Christine Brannan said...

And I often refer to GWB as "Dumb as a Box of Rocks" or "That idiot Redneck"--
It's all in good fun..

5:06 PM  
Blogger Jerry said...

I have to admit it. The president is a funny guy. He doesn't smoke cigars does he? If he does, and if he keeps calling you Monica, you might better be careful, Nancy Jo. I'm a little worried about him right now. I just saw a film of him flipping the bird to some reporters. Boy, they must have really done something bad to have provoked a man of God like GW into reacting that way. Well you know how they can be in that liberal media. I just hope he was able to cool hisself down. You know I'd hate to see him punch a button while he's angry like that. I don't guess we need to worry though. The Ruskies are all washed up now. It's not like the old days.

I don't know if I like him poking fun at Ann Coulter, either. Wow, Nancy Jo, I think she's HOT! And she's so SWEET, too. I better quit. I'm getting myself all worked up here.

Keep up the good work, and remember to check about the cigars.

10:37 PM  
Blogger orangeroom said...

I like "President Doofus" myself.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Redjalapeno said...

Nancy Jo, don't know where to really start, so I won't.

Just know that I have steered many of a conservative here to help them bolster their arguements/debates/bullshit.

...And they did! :)

11:16 PM  

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