Picnic with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth

This July 4th, all like-minded folks in the vicinity of Waco, Texas are invited to spend their Independence Day with those great American patriots — the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

Along with plenty of egg salad and Kool Aid, there's going to be lots of activites and interesting speeches.

Ken Lay will provide the opening address during which he'll discuss the general lack of trust among Americans. With Democrats constantly criticizing President Bush, could there be a more appropriate topic or a better person to deliver the speech?

Donald Rumsfeld will represent the administration and point out how he had always told the public that the American presence in Iraq was likely to be a dozen years. Americans have simply forgotten.

Also on hand will be Senator John McCain who will finally admit that he has an illegitimate black baby and he's happy that the George Bush campaign broke the news to all those folks in South Carolina during the 2000 primary campaign.

On Lake Waco, the Swifties are going to hold a light-hearted re-enactment of John Kerry earning his three Purple Hearts in Vietnam.

For his first PH, the actor playing Kerry will pretend to cut his finger while opening a Coke bottle.

The second PH comes when John Kerry gets a splinter as he's polishing the rail of his boat.

For his third Purple Heart, John Kerry pokes himself in the eye when he looks into the wrong end of a telescope.

The Swifties will then outline in a special pageant how a Bronze Star and a Silver Star, both intended for George W. Bush, were misdirected and sent to John Kerry by mistake. But since the military never admits mistakes, the medals could not be taken back and given to the rightful person.

I'm surprised that President Bush can show so much loyalty to a military that let him down so badly. But that's the kind of person President Bush is.

The kids will get to play Pinocchio — otherwise known as "Pin the nose on the Democrat". Always fun.

On a more serious note, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are going to deal with the news that a Mad Cow found in the United States came from Texas. Fortunately, the Swifties have documents that show the cow actually came from Iraq by way of Canada.

You can always count on the Swifties for the truth!.