Thursday, June 23, 2005

The truth about Hillary Clinton

By now, you've probably read the new book by Edward Klein outlining how despicable Hillary Clinton really is.

In this well researched tome, Mr. Klein outlines how the junior senator from New York lies, cheats and has lesbian affairs between affairs with men other than her husband.

The thing is, Mr. Klein only scratched the surface.

Last week, I was cleaning up some files in Mr. Rove's office when I came across a file called "Hillary — 2008 Presidential Run". In it, Mr. Rove has evidence that Mrs. Clinton is basically Satan's surrogate on earth. Among the items contained in Mr. Rove's file:

There's a photograph of Hillary having sex with a goat.

There's a photograph of Hillary providing oral gratification to Osama bin Laden as the terrorist is pointing his rifle toward the World Trade Center.

There's a transcript of a conversation between Hillary and Kim Jong Il in which Hillary, speaking in fluent Korean, tells the North Korean leader how to build a nuclear bomb.

There's a medical report that Hillary has AIDS and gave it to their dog, Buddy. Buddy was then run over by Democratic operatives to protect the secret.

There's a photo of Hillary working as a stripper to pay her way through law school.

There's a record of her working with Sirhan Sirhan to assassinate Bobby Kennedy so she would have a better chance to eventually become president.

There's proof that she was both Ho Chi Minh's and Jane Fonda's girlfriend from 1968 to 1974.

There's proof that Hillary is not the mother of Chelsea.

There's proof that Hillary was raised as both a Muslim and a Jew.

There's proof that Hillary fixed the 1998 World Series and made over $20 million.

There's a picture of Hillary eating curried kittens.

There's a sworn deposition stating that Hillary has been doing stem cell research since 1978.

Abortion clinic records show that Hillary has had 23 abortions in the past four years.

There are official police records showing that Hillary ran a stop sign when she was 17 and killed a schoolmate.

There's proof that Hillary is responsible for the failure of the War in Iraq.

With explosive evidence like this, Mrs. Clinton better not be thinking about running for the presidency.


Blogger David said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:53 PM  
Blogger David said...

Wow, that's awful! How could those liberal sickos vote for her? I'm sure they'll all change your mind after learning this.

After skimming the first few pages of his book, I can conclude that Mr. Kleine ranks right up there with God and George W. Bush.

1:54 PM  
Blogger sodiumnitrate said...

this has got to be the saddest shit i have ever read.

do you expect people to really believe this drivel?

wow.... that is all i can say, and good luck with the whole insanity thing

12:21 AM  
Anonymous Mosquito Coast said...

Satire - noun: trenchant wit, irony,or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly.
Merriam Webster's Collegiate
Dictionary, 10th edition.

Please post responses only if you understand the above definition.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Christine Brannan said...

That damn Hillary. I'll bet she was the one who helped Saddam move those WMD, too... (They WERE there.. I swear it... there was an intelligence report! )

3:58 PM  
Blogger sodiumnitrate said...

perhaps there ought to be something saying this is a blog of complete satire then.

there are plenty of completely freakin orbital people out there, so without a disclaimer to the contrary it is easy to be misunderstood.

try a little tolerance in your diet.

5:51 PM  
Blogger La Bona said...

Nice blog. Keep it up ...

Hi there

Apologies for posting an off topic question here.

I am invitation your views on ABORTION in order to present a case to help those in the developing world.

I personally see abortion as a NECESSARY EVIL and that unwanted pregnancy is not only a personal problem and it is also a very real problem for the society at large.

Do you think it is right to burden say a 15 years old school-going girl with a new life when she is yet to have any economic mean to sustain herself and obviously, most girls of her age are not mentally ready for a family life. Furthermore, is it fair to rob her of her career, aspiration, dream etc., in the name of preserving a life that is yet to be fully developed?

If you have an opinion, please email it to me at or if you wish, you may post your comment here: Your Onion Counts!

Also, what do you think of the recent “Pharmacists Refused Contraceptive Prescriptions”.

Do you think Pharmacists have the rights to Play God?

6:56 PM  
Blogger Christine Brannan said...

"perhaps there ought to be something saying this is a blog of complete satire then."

ROFL!!! Someone should censor their own blog???

Perhaps you should put something in your comment posts saying that you dont understand the concept.. so that we can all say OOOOOOOOOHHHH and take heed as we read them...

Here is your sign--

"WARNING: I dont get it!"

9:43 PM  
Blogger David said...

Christine: Bingo!

11:50 AM  

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