Ted Haggard's commencement address

As you probably know, I'm a graduate of the DeVry Evangelical Institute of Waco, Texas. I'm proud to be a Registered Divinity Assistant although my faith in Evangelicalism is currently being tested. The Reverend Ted Haggard has admitted to doing a Rush Limbaugh — purchasing illicit drugs. Whether Mr. Limbaugh has ever purchased illicit sex from a gay prostitute, I can only hope not. All this on the same day that it was announced that the Republican Party has long accepted money from pornography manufacturers. As you can imagine, today has not been a good day for me.

As I was looking through my things, I came across the commencement address that the Reverend Ted Haggard delivered to the graduating students of the DeVry Evangelical Institute a few years back. It's quite moving. I hope you can all see it in your hearts to not think too badly of the Reverend Haggard, once you've read his fine words.

"Students. I envy your opportunities to go forth and do Christian work grandly.

"There's nothing like good hard work, the kind where a young man is bent over in the field, the muscles of his hard thighs rippling with each effort to bring the joy of Jesus to his loins.

"It's important to feel God in everything you do. Feel God as he caresses your shoulders after a hard day of work, as he massages your back so deeply, as his hands work out the knots in your lower back. O Lord, it feels so good.

"I know that once you leave these hallowed halls of Christian education, you'll feel temptation. The temptation to have sex, the temptation to call up a man, maybe a man you know and see once a month, a man who can get you drugs whenever you want them. Say no to temptation. I know I do."

The Revenend's speech went on for a while longer but there was absolutely no indication that he was anything buy a fine, upstanding Christian example to us all.