Monday, September 19, 2005

Bush administration launches War on Poverty

It's a fact that Hurricane Katrina threw a spotlight on the poor in America. I had the honor this morning of sitting in on an Oval Office brainstorming session of key players in the administration figuring out how to fight poverty. I took some notes.

PRESIDENT BUSH: According to what I've been reading in one of those news magazines in my doctor's waiting room, there are 37 million people in the United States living in poverty. It's getting a bit embarrassing, especially when them North Koreans living on grass are living better than our folks. What are we going to do about it?

KARL ROVE: Mr. President, the U.S. government has set the poverty line at $14,680 for a family of three. What if we lower the poverty line to $6,000, then America would have virtually no one living in poverty.

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: That's the kind of thinking that won us two elections Karl. But now the media and even some Republicans are starting to look closely at what we say and do. What we needed to do was drop the poverty line before that hurricane hit. We just didn't react fast enough.

CONDOLEEZZA RICE: Poverty strikes the black community disproportionately hard. President Clinton did have some initiatives that seemed to have some success in alleviating poverty but this administration shut them down to cut taxes.

PRESIDENT BUSH: I hope you're not suggesting I have more interest in rich, white people than I do in poor, black folks.

RICE: No Sir, of course not. I was just pointing out a fact from history.

PRESIDENT BUSH: The reason I killed those Clinton initiatives was because, because...(President Bush turned to Mr. Rove while Mr. Rove said something into the President's ear) because we didn't want our administration being associated with anything that philandering pervert did. Every time a black youth received a Youth Opportunity Grant, those kids would be thinking of that Monica Lewinsky doing perverted things to Clinton and America cannot afford to put those thoughts in young black people.

LAURA BUSH: What if we have a National Prayer Day to end poverty? All Americans would pray and God would have to listen to 300 million people praying all at once.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Now that's a constructive suggestion, Honey. Jesus loves the poor. He just don't show it much while they're down here on earth. Maybe we could combine the National Prayer Day with Super Bowl Sunday so it don't interfere with a day in which Americans are doing much business.

RICE: What about actual programs for the poor?

PRESIDENT BUSH: You mean, bring back Sanford and Son? Heh heh. I think that Red Foxx feller is dead.

RICE: I was thinking more along the lines of allocating some money we're giving to Halliburton to rebuild Iraq to poverty programs in America.

At this point, Vice President Cheney grabbed his chest and tumbled to the floor, Paramedics arrived within seconds and the meeting broke up.

2 Comments:

Blogger Christine Brannan said...

OMG!! The sad part is.. that may very well be what happened at that meeting.

There IS another option though.. In an effort to show support for our wonderful neighbors to the south, and make up for all the people they are losing when they cross into USA to fill all the jobs that our people are too good for, we can simply swap citizens. Every working illegal person can be swapped with an out of work American. This way the imigrant can gain citizenship and the impoverished person can live a cheaper lifestyle. See.. now that would just solve everyone's problems. (I always thought people were WAY too concerned about our borders anyway....)

OR..

we could just pray and if nothing happens, then God must not think that this problem was meant to be solved right now.

But we will be able to say we gave it our best shot.

(Keep it up Nancy Jo.)

6:30 PM  
Blogger eric strauss said...

Oh Nancy Jo - It warms my heart to you a lovely young christina woman like you who can appreciate the importance of supporting the good christian men leading our country!

So often these days, it seems you here traitor, unpatriotic liberals spouting off their so called opinions in ways that are just disrespectful!

We all would be well served to remember that our leaders are the authorities, and we must obey them at all times, and believe everything they say. Otherwise, how will we know what to think and do?!

Thanks for a great web site, fer rilly tho. I think this thing is going to blow up -

eric
www.voxmonitor.com

9:36 AM  

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