Let us pray
My hometown is Waco, Texas, just a short ride from President Bush's ranch in Crawford.
As you might remember, when Hurricane Katrina entered the Gulf of Mexico, I prayed that the Lord spare Texas and my prayer was answered. Here's my prayer for Hurricane Rita.
Lord, I can understand You sending a hurricane into the Florida Keys which are filled with Sodomites, although it turns out You didn't hit the Keys very hard after all. I guess in Your Goodness, even Sodomites have the right to live.
Now for some reason, You've got a category 5 hurricane heading straight for the people in America who love You the most. Right now, there are a million Texans in trucks taking all their worldly guns and heading inland. Is this a test? It always seems that You're testing the most devout of us while atheists, Sodomites and even some Muslims like those rich sheiks go through life contented as a puppy on its momma's teat.
If it's a test, You can bet the folks of Texas will pass with flying colors. You can blow down every church in Galveston and Corpus Christi and we Christians will just rebuild them higher and more beautiful than before so we can worship Your Goodness with even greater conviction.
And don't You worry about flooding another city, Lord. America has money to burn when it comes to spending billions to rebuild after one of Your "Acts".
Lord, all I ask is that You spare President Bush's ranch in Crawford and my family home in Waco where Daddy just put in a new spa by the pool and just repainted the stable.
And if You've got any sparing left, maybe You could spare the Republican Party office in downtown Waco, which just took delivery of a new Xerox machine.
Lord, I know this Hurricane Rita is for the best. Obviously, You've got some cleaning to do. But no one loves You more than we Christian Republicans, so try to limit Your damage to Democratic districts.
I pray and I know that President Bush prays that You'll miraculously make the hurricane disappear before it reaches land. In fact, it seems that all that President Bush does is pray. Please Lord, cut him some slack. There are even some Republicans who are starting to believe that President Bush was not sent by You to do Your work on earth.
Give President Bush the power you gave to Moses and let President Bush part the hurricane so that half goes to Mexico and the other half goes to Canada.
Blessed are You Lord.
I really believe the Lord has heard my prayers.