I am shocked and appalled

I have never been so disappointed in anyone as I am in the First Lady, Laura Bush. Mrs. Bush, speaking at the recent Correspondents Dinner took it upon herself to embarrass and humilate President Bush in the eyes of the entire world.

How can President Bush stand up to those North Koreans and Iranians now that they know his manhood is suspect? Mrs. Bush made it clear that the President goes to bed every night at 9 p.m. without doing anything "exciting".

Well, perhaps saving the Free World from terrorism all day long just makes a man tired. Perhaps Mrs. Bush in her dowdy nightgowns just doesn't appeal to a man who can have any woman in the world — assuming he weren't a righteous Christian.

So what if President Bush isn't interested in sex. He's got other interests like putting tinpot dictators in their place. You don't need a big penis (excuse the expression) to invade Iraq. In fact, if President Clinton hadn't been having sex with anything that moves, maybe he would have had the time to invade a country or two.

Mrs. Bush was implying that she along with Lynn Cheney watch "Desperate Housewives" because their husbands are incapable of performing in bed. That is among the most cruel things I've ever heard.

Can you imagine Vice-President Cheney having sex? That's just a heart attack waiting to happen. Not to mention that all the heart medication the Vice-President takes obviously keeps him from attempting to procreate. I suppose with industrial strength Viagra, he might be able to get an erection. But you can bet his next erection would be a tombstone.

Although I've always assumed that Mrs. Bush and Mrs. Cheney were good Christian women, I now find that hard to believe knowing they watch such satanic trash as "Desperate Housewives" and go out with Condi Rice and Karen Hughes to watch male strippers. I was so embarrassed for the President when I heard the First Lady admit it in public.

You can bet that back home in Texas, when a wife says she's out watching male strippers, those concealed weapons Texans carry become unconcealed quick enough. If my Momma ever said anything like that about Daddy in public, you can be sure I'd be half an orphan with a father on probation.

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