Thursday, March 31, 2005

Loyalty oaths for all Americans...about time!

As I deliver memos from office to office in the White House, I've been getting a real good understanding of how this great country operates. For instance, this morning I was taking a memo from Karl Rove over to Vice-President Cheney and couldn't help but notice a really great idea that this administration is considering.

I only hope it goes through. As best as I can recollect, the memo said something like...

During the election campaign, Republicans were able to keep pesky protesters away from town hall meetings with the President by making all attendees sign a loyalty pledge to George W. Bush. Mr. Rove has realized a loyalty oath could have lots more value in running the administration.

For instance, all federal employees should sign loyalty oaths or lose their jobs. That makes sense since nobody should work for a boss they don't like. If a postal worker cannot be loyal to the President, he can deliver newspapers.

All White House correspondents should sign loyalty oaths since reporters have a knack for twisting the news when they're covering somebody they're not loyal to. Had Dan Rather signed a loyalty oath, he would not have screwed up his career.

All judges should sign loyalty oaths. If judges question executive decisions, nothing gets done in Washington.

All senators and congressmen including Democrats should sign loyalty oaths to the President. How can democracy thrive in America if seditious legislators are undermining the democratic work of this President?

It's fabulous ideas like loyalty oaths that separate America from Godless Communist countries.

Only when all Americans have signed loyalty oaths to President Bush will this country be free to discuss important issues with the President present.

Please let me be first to sign.

4 Comments:

Blogger ThunderCat said...

That is such a great idea! Right on. I totally agree. Nice job being an intern in the White House, too. That would be a super rad job. Have fun with that! :)

2:23 PM  
Anonymous rduke said...

Great Satire!


:D

3:14 AM  
Blogger stormingamerican said...

Yeah why not! Let us go ahead and name him King Hitler too while we're at it!!

Death to anyone who doesn't sign those oaths, they must be terrorists!

You are either with George W. Bush or you are against him, better sign that oath fascist.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a Vet, I have to say that my "Loyalty Oath" has already been taken.

It was to the CONSTITUTION of the UNITED STATES of AMERICA.

That is the ONLY oath needed. Can we please now round up all the breakers of that sacred oath?

3:33 AM  

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