Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Passion of the Mel

Those of you who are familiar with my Profile know that my all-time favorite movie is Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. The depiction of the suffering of Christ on our behalf was magnificent. Watching that movie, I felt every blow, every kick, every lash. I even felt as though I could understand Yiddish, or whatever those folks were speaking back then.

With the approach of Easter, something special is about to happen with the film. It seems some folks have a low tolerance for the gruesome reality of out Lord's last 12 hours on earth, not counting the Resurrection. (Admittedly, if this movie had not been about our Saviour, I probably would have been puking all over my skirt.)

Mr. Gibson is re-releasing The Passion cutting out about six minutes worth of torture and brutality. Those of us who've seen the movie six or eight times may recognize which bits are missing but otherwise, most people will hardly notice.

What has me so excited is that my favorite movie is joining forces with my favorite administration.

Rather than just throw those six minutes of film away as someone like Barbra Streisand might do, Mr. Gibson has graciously donated those six minutes to be made into a training film for the U.S. Military Prisons System. Prison guards from Guantanamo Bay to Abu Ghraib will learn how to treat suspected terrorists with the same courtesy extended to the Son of God. What more could any criminal want?

Mr. Gibson, from all Americans, thank you for your beautiful Easter gift.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

For accuracy Jesus should have had "Iraq" tattooed on his back.

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two very big thumbs up!
---American Masochists Association

The all-time number one snuff film. A masterpiece of misery, pain, sorrow and dreariness. Too bad Buddha didn't know what it takes to have a movie made about you. If only he had killed others or been killed himself. That is the hallmark of true spirituality.

There's a rumour in the grapevine that His Melness is shopping a biopic of Vlad Tepes, otherwise known as Vlad the Impaler, or Dracula, son of Dracul. In his heyday, he impaled 12,000 Turks along the road to his castle and even feasted under their agonised screams. Now, can this man party, or what? He nailed the turbans onto the heads of Turkish envoys who refused to remove them in his presence, saying he wished to support them in their dedication to their traditions. Think about that! The man was a trailblazer to multiculturalism 500 years ago. He even experimented with the lengths and sharpness of the palisades to fine tune the entertainment experience.

If this rumour pans out, it will make the Passion look like a low-budget Romanian film. Its box-office potential is explosive. It has all the crucial elements except for a love story. Maybe Angelina Jolie can be cast somewhere.

Hmmmm. This could be the most anticipated film since Caligula. Our lips are salivating and our juices flowing in quivering anticipation.

12:30 AM  

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