There's such a thing as too much democracy

I saw this in the newspaper this morning:

BEIRUT - Close to half a million pro-Syria demonstrators rallied in a square in Beirut on Tuesday, answering a call from the militant Islamic group Hezbollah to show their support for a continuing Syrian presence in Lebanon.



Democracy is like firearms. Everyone should have some but first you need to learn how to use it wisely. By the fact that half a million Lebanese came out to support their Syrian occupiers, it's obvious that these folks are democrazy.

The fact is, democracy is a foreign concept to a lot of foreigners. Here in America where democracy was invented, we automatically understand the concept. Some foreigners do; some don't.

Let's look at the Ukrainians. These people have a good understanding of democracy. When they had a newly elected government that half the country didn't like, the people took to the streets until they got a pro-Western government. I'd call that democracy in action.

Evidently, the Lebanese have learned nothing from the currently democratic Ukrainians. Democratic people do not rally in support of terrrorist groups like Hezbollah and weasily countries like Syria. They rally in favor of pro-Western ideals. The freedom to worship God. The freedom to bear arms. The freedom to send your children to the school of your choice, if you can afford it. And all the other freedoms that make America great.

With today's Beirut demonstration, it's apparent that Lebanon can't handle democracy. Imagine if these people had an open election right now. They could end up voting for some pro-Iranian government, which by definition is anti-democratic. So America would be forced into nullifying the election results and selecting a pro-democratic government to give the Lebanese people their rights to freedom and liberty.

I believe the Bush administration agrees with this assessment.

As I was delivering coffee and crullers to Mr. Rove this morning, I overheard some snippets of conversation emanating from the Oval Office.

Vice-President Cheney was saying something like, "We can't let those Lebanese f--kers s--t all over the f--king work we've been doing in the G---am Middle East. F--king Arab A--holes." (Although I may not agree with his word selection, I agree with his sentiments.)

I heard President Bush suggest a "training vote". "We'll give those Lebanese some of our old election ballots, maybe there's still a few left over from Florida, and see if they can figure out how to vote democratically." I heard a lot of voices saying, "Good idea", "Great idea, Mr. President."

Democracy is like a hot chili powder. It needs to be sprinkled on sparingly or it'll burn your brains out. If and when Lebanon ever gets a democracy, I pray they use their voting powers intelligently. Otherwise they'll end up with a government like Canada's that won't even accept ballistic missile defense that's free! Who the heck turns down free stuff?