Barack Obama: America's "training" Negro

The other day, I had the privilege of sitting in on a conversation about politics led by President George W. Bush.

BUSH: You wanna know why this Obama fella is doin' so well? It's cause Americans like the idea of giving a minority person an opportunity but ain't prepared to make a full-time minority person the president.

RICE: I don't understand sir. What's a full-time minority person?

BUSH: Well Condi, that would be you. You're 100% Negro.

RICE: Person of color.

BUSH: Right. You are full time. But this Obama fella, he's only half black and half white.

RICE: So you're saying he's not a person of color.

BUSH: What I'm saying is that Americans are like little children. You don't just put them on a bicycle and expect them to ride. Ya gotta put some training wheels on the bike until they get used to it. Same for the presidency. You just can't expect Americans to accept a real black person to be elected. Americans needs a training Negro and that Obama fits the bill.

CHENEY: Some people thought Condi might have made a good candidate being both black and a woman.

BUSH: Dick, that's just plain dumb. Being a full-time black person and woman is like four strikes against her. The reason Hillary's losin' is cause Americans aren't prepared to put a full-time woman into the White House.

CHENEY: I don't think they make "training" women...anyway, not real ones.

BUSH: You know who would have been a good Republican candidate? Larry Craig. A white man who is kinda gay, which to most Americans is kinda like a training woman.

So I said: Maybe Mary Cheney because she's kind of half woman and...

I don't think I will be on Vice-president Cheney's Christmas card list this year.