Kool-Aid at the White House

Folks are always asking me about the "behind-the-scenes" stuff that goes on at the White House. So here's an interesting tidbit you probably didn't hear about on TV.

Right after it was officially declared that the Democrats had won control of both the House and the Senate, Vice-President Cheney brought a gigantic pitcher of Kool-Aid to the White House Rose Garden. Then he gathered all the staff together and said, "If you people are truly loyal to the President, you'll drink a glass."

I've never seen so many faces drained of blood in a single place. Nobody moved.

Well, there's nobody more loyal to the President than me and Kool-Aid has always been among my favorite beverages, particularly grape, which unfortunately this batch wasn't. So I went forward to get a glass.

People were screaming and yelling; "Are you crazy?" "Don't do it." "He's not worth it."

I have no idea why those folks were so perturbed about a glass of Kool-Aid. It can be very refreshing.

Anyway, Vice-President Cheney handed me a glass of America's favorite beverage and just as I was about to take my first sip, he grabbed the glass from my hand and drank the Kool-Aid himself. Then he looked at the crowd of staffers with what I can only describe as a Satanic smile. Then he grabbed at his throat and began to choke like he was having another one of his heart attacks. Then he fell to the floor, still and lifeless.

Then there were more screams: "He's dead." "He's killed himself." "Another Jonestown." (Whatever that means.)

As staffers continued screaming and crying, Vice-President Cheney stood up laughing heartily. "It's a joke," he said. Then he turned to me and said, "Little girl, you've got balls." (I'm pretty sure I don't.)

Anyway, I still don't get the joke and most folks around the office are still kind of mad at the Vice President.