Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Can NASCAR fans be true Christians?

As a true Christian, I worship only one God, one president and one sport — NASCAR.

NASCAR is to American Christianity what a public beheading is to Saudis — an event that brings families together.

Back home in Waco at the DeVry Evangelical Institute where I got my degree as a Registered Divinity Assistant, there's been some debate lately as to whether Christians attending NASCAR events are breaking the Law of God as set out in the Ten Commandments.

As far as I'm concerned, the Ten Commandments are the final word of God. When He said, "Thou shalt not kill," God really meant it except for cases like someone breaking into your home or as collateral damage when America needs to free a country like Iraq.

You'll probably remember in Exodus 20 the Commandment that says: "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." Now a lot of folks such as really over-the-top religious people, especially those bearded Jewish folk with the strings hanging out their pants, believe this Commandment means absolutely no work on the sabbath — just prayer and rest.

But from what I know of God, there are no absolutes. Like He says, "Don't kill" and then He gives you a whole list of people you can kill like wives who mess around or slaves who run away. So God is pretty flexible.

As most American Christians know, NASCAR is God's chosen sport. Before every race, Christ is asked to bless the drivers. (For some reason, a few years back, God needed Dale Earnhardt in Heaven pronto. Maybe God has His own racing team and needed the best driver to race against Satan's team, which I believe is filled with Formula 1 drivers.)

Since almost all major NASCAR races take place on Sunday, there's been talk among some Fundamentalists that you can't be a real Christian and attend a race on the sabbath. They say it's against the Ten Commandments, as though all the Commandments should have equal weight.

But I say, the folks attending the race aren't working. They're just resting and praying that their chosen driver wins. The drivers aren't really working. Those good ole boys are just having fun. The pit crews are working, but only for about 12 seconds every hour, so that doesn't really count.

Although God knows all and all that will happen in the future, I think it was just too difficult to describe to Moses that in another 2, 500 years, the sabbath Commandment would have to take into account NASCAR.

Like the American Constitution that adds amendments as the times change, the Ten Commandments could probably use an amendment or two to keep up with God's ever-changing Creation. Christians...start your engines.


Blogger always write said...

I don't know why I haven't found you until now, but you. are. hilarious.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Nancy in Detroit said...

. . . needed the best driver to race against Satan's team, which I believe is filled with Formula 1 drivers.

Well, of course. God, that's some funny stuff!

4:15 PM  

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